Breastfeeding and Formula Feeding

I think I dove into breastfeeding a bit naively. It wasn’t up for discussion - I was going to breastfeed. I didn’t understand why so many moms used formula. Breastfeeding is proven to be healthier for you and the baby, the bonding is amazing, it’s free? No brainer. Until I started to do it.

The two most difficult aspects of breastfeeding that I personally underestimated were the amount of pain it can cause and the mental and physical exhaustion.

The pain. Breastfeeding is to this day, the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, and because of the pain I wanted to give up... a lot. I never read any baby books that talked about how truly bad the pain would be. No one warned me about it. I literally had no idea and felt so blindsided. In the hospital, the nurses told me if it’s painful, the baby isn’t latching correctly, but no matter what adjustments we made, I still felt the excruciating pain that caused me to freeze up and wince in agony for that entire half hour (and sometimes longer) feeding. Every single time. I adored that bond with my son and being able to provide his nutrition, but even that wasn’t seeming to be enough for me to continue breastfeeding.

My mom breastfed me and all of my siblings, so she quickly became my breastfeeding advocate. Without her constant encouragement and reassurance telling me, “I promise it will get better.” I know I would have stopped. But finally, after over two weeks, the pain began to slowly subside. I could finally breastfeed casually and appreciate the experience of breastfeeding pain-free, and it was nothing short of amazing. The convenience, the sweet bond, the feeling of accomplishment and giving my baby the best nutrition available, it all was finally feeling worth it.

The exhaustion. The other difficult aspect about breastfeeding that may seem obvious is an exclusively breastfed baby exclusively needs their mom. So every 1-3 hours it was all me. Me feeding the baby, me changing the diapers in the night because I was already awake, me pumping between each feeding, me in pain, me getting zero sleep. On top of all of that, add a healing postpartum body, and multiple fevers from plugged ducts. It was miserable.

Even after the pain stopped, I never got any real sleep for weeks. Again, to be expected, sure, but nothing in life can prepare you for that newborn stage except actually going through it. So as a new mom, I really struggled with this.

One day, my son started having some significant bowel issues. The pediatrician saw him and suggested I stop giving my son breast milk for a while because she believed he was allergic to it. She had him on a special formula for a couple weeks, and in the meantime, I was to be on a dairy-free diet.

I remember feeling so upset I had to stop breastfeeding and worried about my son not getting breast milk, but I also trusted my doctor and the science behind formula. A part of me also felt so much relief, because now I could have some help with the feedings. Not only was I able to get some sleep, but my husband was able to experience feeding our son as well which I wholeheartedly think strengthened their relationship.

Luckily, the formula helped my son’s bowel concerns almost immediately. I switched back to breastfeeding after a few weeks, but my supply wasn’t keeping up with his demands at all so I supplemented with formula often. I continued this until about 2-3 months after returning to work. Then I finally went forward with formula only.

With my second child I was more mentally prepared and motivated. I still had the pain which lasted almost a whole month this time, and the exhaustion -- a given for any mom with a newborn breastfed or not. Knowing what to expect made a huge difference though. I was able to give my son breast milk until about 5 months when my supply went down after returning to work and I ran out of my freezer stock (and some breast milk donations by other moms). We're now on formula and have no problems.

I know breastfeeding is encouraged because of the health benefits, and I will always encourage moms to try it and give it some time if they struggle like I did. However, I’m also aware that breastfeeding just isn't in the cards for a lot of us. If you have to sacrifice your emotional or physical health to the point where you are miserable or depressed, it’s simply not worth it. Children need a happy, healthy mom. If you feel like your baby isn't getting the nutrition he/she needs from your breast milk or your supply isn’t meeting their demands, it’s okay to supplement. No one should feel guilty for introducing formula into their baby’s diet, regardless of your reasoning to do it. When it comes down to it, it really just doesn’t matter. Fed is best! We all want our children to eat, grow, and thrive.

I asked some sweet moms to share their breastfeeding experiences. Some were able to continue breastfeeding and some switched to formula. They all deserve so much credit.

---

"As soon as I found out I was pregnant I signed up for breastfeeding classes. I took notes. I researched. I was dedicated to the journey at awaited me. But things happened that were out of my control. My milk supply was insufficient. I was constantly stressing about making sure my baby was being fed enough. That in turn caused me to be depressed. I lasted a little over 4 weeks before I got mastitis and decided that I was throwing in the towel and turning to the “next best thing.” Every mom has their reasons. And those reasons shouldn’t matter. I want my formula-feeding moms to know that you are also AMAZING, and you deserve just as much credit for doing what’s right for you and your baby."

linds_needham

"Formula was the absolute best choice for our family. My baby girl’s latch was so poor. We tried everything, lactation consultants, nipple shields. Nothing was helping. I was struggling with postpartum anxiety and was developing baby blues due to not being able to feed my child. Formula took away so much stress from the situation, and now I have a very happy and healthy one year old."

chapynbarnett

“When we found out we were pregnant, those anxieties of me not being enough or me not being able to feed her plagued my mind. I even had these dreams of me being stranded on a desert island with no formula and not being able to feed her. Crazy I know - but hey, I want to be real with y’all. We met with lactation specialists again, bought the supplements, made the cookies, pumped after every feeding - - all of it. My husband told me he wanted his wife back. I was too exhausted to do anything with our three other daughters - much less him. I was working full time and dragging every day. He told me it was time to stop. And crazy enough, I needed his permission to be kind to myself. I needed to give myself some grace. She THRIVED on formula - still does. Come to find out, I have a low thyroid, which can inhibit milk production. I may not be able to feed my babies form my body but I can sure grow a BEAUTIFUL and “juicy” baby!” leecohoney

"I feel very passionate about it because it was such an emotional journey when I really think it didn’t need to be. If I could go back I wouldn’t have ever tried, but that’s the journey I needed to take I guess to know now that it wasn’t for me and the twins. In the end I ultimately decided to bottle feed for my emotional state. I was getting depressed each time feeding time came around. I barely got a 60 minute break before I had to start up again. There is this pressure from other women and doctors to breastfeed. I felt so guilty that I wanted to stop. I thought whenever they were crying it was because I couldn’t breastfeed them. It was such a hard time and I was so depressed. I remember calling a friend and she said “is it worth all the emotion for 3 oz of milk?” After she phrased it like that it helped because it wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t making that much anyways and it was tearing me apart. After I stopped I was so much more happy!" cocoscaravan

"Formula feeding both times with my son and my daughter wasn’t my plan. At all. But if parenting has taught me one thing it’s to always expect the unexpected. After getting over the “guilt” you get when you come to the realization that breastfeeding isn’t in the cards for you, you start to think of all the pros. For me, it was just getting a break!! Being a new mom or even a mom to a newborn and older kids, we all need a break sometimes. So if someone else can grab the bottle and the baby and feed them even for just a couple minutes, it’s nice to just be able to sit down and relax! Also night feeds are so much better when you can take turns with someone else. So so helpful to have an extra set of hands to be able to feed the baby!"hayleypettit

"Formula was absolutely the right answer for me and my little boy. My milk took more than 5 days to come in and when it did, it was thin and watery with very little fat. Jack was very jaundice and dehydrated and I was so stressed out and upset about not being able to provide him with what we needed until my Mother reminded me that I absolutely could! And it was called Similac. We nursed for comfort for about a month while supplementing until my supply basically disappeared. While I find breastfeeding to be beautiful and special, it just wasn’t in the cards for us and I’m still so proud looking back at those early days of how my husband and I were both able to, together, care for and nourish our little boy. I’m due with our second baby in March and I look forward to giving breastfeeding a second try but am so grateful to know that science has my back if it just isn’t right again."

kbbutler9

"I had to switch to formula at 5 months because my breast milk supply couldn’t keep up with the demand of food that he needed (he fits size 12m clothes at 7 months). I tried to pump and hand express but I found myself completely exhausted everyday. I was overworking myself by forcing myself to breastfeed while trying to manage toddler tantrums, meal plan and prep, cook, clean and all of the other SAHM duties. This was just too much for me so I switched to formula and this journey has been much more enjoyable and less exhausting!! No shame in Formula feeding here!"

natashaarupp

"Breastfeeding just isn’t for me. Call me selfish - that’s fine. But after that first bottle, I actually enjoyed feeding my baby instead of looking down at him while gritting my teeth in pain and frustration. I may have been able to power through the pain of a medication-free birth, but I simply could not support the searing, tedious pain of breastfeeding. Add to that the fact I wasn’t even producing milk and it just made sense to stop trying altogether."

mylittleparislife

"Both my kids were always fed a little differently as well! My son, I was active duty in the United States Air Force, and the USAF had my husband and I stationed in separate parts of the United States. So after my maternity leave, for the well being of both my son and I, I decided to do formula! He’s a brilliant and kind 6 year old today! With my daughter, I became a stay at home mom and my husband and I were stationed in the same area code thankfully so I decided to breastfeed!"

its.happy.here

"I knew I wanted to provide my little one the best nutrients I could. I set a goal for myself of 6 months and am now at 9 months and still going strong (while being a working mom which can be hard on my supply). The bond that breastfeeding has created for me and my son is so amazing! I LOVE it." napsanddryshampoo

"Breastfeeding is an absolutely beautiful and natural process. However, to educate yourself is extremely important because it’s not only joy and bonding. For me breastfeeding is a whole big science. Even if you know everything in theory, implementing it will be hard for the first two weeks anyways. You will teach your baby how to latch right, your breast will be getting used to constant pressure and will stay extra sensitive for a while but believe me, it will pass and you will definitely enjoy the process! Happy breastfeeding!"

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC57haygBTuywPaaW7PRkGHQ

"With my first I breastfed for 4 months. I felt it was important to provide the best nutrition there was for her. I also wanted to create that “bond” that people talk about. After 4 months, we switched to formula, and my opinion changed. We still had the same bond we had while breastfeeding, but she was so much happier! So now I believe that fed is best! My second is only 6 weeks old and he is a boob monster. He uses it more for comfort than my first and I am really happy that I can provide that comfort for him. Once he decides to wean himself, I will be okay with that decision too."

beautybrainsxo

"My main incentives were to save time and money! I had no clue that I would fall in love with the immediate bond it gave us. Breastfeeding provides antibodies so it’s a natural way to boost baby’s immunity. It’s also great for mom because it can lower the risks for breast and ovarian cancer as well as osteoporosis over time." steadfast365

"I decided to breastfeed my son before I was back at work full-time because it felt natural. 3 days after birth, my milk poured in. And nothing felt more natural to me than holding him in my arms while he learned how to eat. I also knew that I was providing him the very best source of food I possibly could. And I felt privileged enough to have the opportunity. I speak to women who don't produce enough milk to have this option. Or women who have had breast surgery for medical reasons. I don't judge women who DECIDE not to breastfeed. And I would hope that no one judge me for my choice to stop breastfeeding when my work schedule no longer made it a viable option for me. My son loved my milk. And he loves his enfamil bottles. I think every choice is the right choice. I was formula fed when I was an infant." leyakaufmom

"I breastfed my two children for 6 months and 4 months, respectively. I loved breastfeeding because of the bond I felt with my child, especially the first child since there were no other distractions! With my second breast feeding became difficult since I had a toddler running around. I switched to bottle and formula when I felt it was the right time for me." drcarolinechang