Newborn Sleeplessness
- This Or That Mom
- Apr 28, 2020
- 5 min read
The loss of sleep with a newborn has got to be one of, if not the most, underrated struggles of parenting. I’m the type of person who does not require much sleep to function well. I can get 5 consecutive hours of sleep at night and that’s sufficient. I’ve worked tons of back to back night shifts with little daytime sleep in between and survived lots of all-nighters in college while needing to attend class the next day, no problem.
Losing sleep with a newborn is so different from other types of sleep loss with the reason being, there is no break for literally weeks, often months. Newborn babies are programmed to wake up and feed at least every few hours. They also need comfort frequently and sometimes just want to be held all day long. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about baby snuggles, but sometimes it can feel like you’re glued to your baby with no time for anything else and no end in sight.
A lot of people suggest sleeping when the baby sleeps which is great advice if you are able to, but we all know how difficult it can be to put tasks off at home in our free time.. and if you have other children at home that don’t nap, it’s impossible. I also know a lot of moms benefit from sleep training books and following certain schedules. I have 3 children and I did not realize there were so many resources available related to newborn and pediatric sleeping patterns and schedules until this blog (see some sleep gurus below😉).
If you’re a parent and are really struggling with loss of sleep, I suggest exploring your options to see how these resources can benefit you, and never be afraid to ask for and seek out help!
Thank you to those below who share their advice and/or words of encouragement!
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
“Sleep when baby sleeps! Your housework can wait and if your significant other will help- let them. I had the hardest time allowing my husband to watch our son because he didn’t do things the way I did or the way I wanted him too. You gotta let that go or you’ll go crazy. Accept the help! Also- don’t ever let anyone put you down for cuddling your newborn “too much”. I’m sure in a few years I won’t regret holding him or cuddling him. Oh and always have coffee on hand!”
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
“What most people don’t know is that if your baby is healthy and growing, you can start sleep training as early as 4 weeks! This means your baby can be sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks and 12 hours by 12 weeks. So, while sleep deprivation is real, it doesn’t have to last long. Soak up every minute of the newborn phase because it goes so quickly! Ask for help, nap when you can and remind yourself you are exactly the mama your baby needs.”
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
“I would have to say the biggest thing to remember is it’s not forever and this rage in life goes by so fast! For me a consistent morning wake up and nighttime routine really helps. My doctor told me it’s not until 4-6 weeks that a newborn can really allow for those longer stretches of sleep at night so give yourself some time before you try everything in the book. Also, a twin tip I’ve learned is always feed both twins at the same time no matter what. This is the only instance where you will want to wake a sleeping baby and chances are one is always sleeping and the other isn’t when it’s feeding time. Hope this helps!”
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
My biggest piece of advice is to ask for help! It can be so hard to ask, but I guarantee there are people waiting on the opportunity to hold that sweet baby! Rest is so incredibly important and you’re doing both you and your baby a favor by sleeping! and just remember- this is a season. It is short and sweet and before you know it you’ll have a two year old throwing a fit because you won’t let her have Cheetos for breakfast!!
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
“The feelings of days blending into nights and nights blending into days and constantly chasing your sleep are ruthless. But there will come a time where your baby’s needs will be less and sleep will be more. Their tiny little bodies are designed this way and they know what to do. Sometimes they have trouble finding their way and sleep can be an uphill battle but know this: All sleep challenges are fixable. With the right environment, routine and consistency sleep will come.”
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
Here is a review from the book 7am - 7 pm Sleeping Baby Routine, a book by Charmain Mead. The book focuses on your baby’s digestion and teaching positive associations with feeding and sleep. You can purchase it on Amazon!
“I bought the sleeping baby routine after hearing about it from another sleep deprived first time mum. My husband and I can’t thank Charmian enough for her advice which helped our little girl sleep through the night at almost 8 weeks! The steps are easy to follow and make total sense. I just wish they’d teach you some of this stuff during pregnancy! I am now producing more breastmilk, she’s happy, we are all sleeping and able to enjoy quality time with our family and friends. Highly recommended.”
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
All bets are off 0-12 weeks. We Rock, bounce, hold, feed to sleep to prevent an overtired baby,
The key with newborns is setting a healthy foundation! Check out our 7 tips for newborn success. Schedule a free 15 min sleep consult on our website, we can help you set a foundation and prevent bad habits www.dreambabysleep.com/scheduler
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
Wake your baby for feeds. It seems cruel and you're so tired, but waking your baby for feeds makes sure they are getting well-fed. If they miss feeds during the day they will wake for them at night. By 6 weeks night sleep begins to consolidate and we want to see those longer stretches at night not during the day.
Get familiar with newborn awake windows. This is the amount of time your newborn can handle being awake before heading into overtired territory and having a lot of trouble setting for sleep. Over the next 12 weeks, this time lengthens from 45/60mins to 90mins.
Try to embrace the chaos and realize that it doesn't last forever. Your baby's body systems are still developing and are very immature. They need your help to calm and settle for sleep. Swaddle, Shush, Swing, and let them suck on a dummy. These actions all trigger the calming reflex in your baby, helping them get the sleep they need.
Accept all the help you can. You don't have to do it all alone.
Advice or encouraging words for new moms?
Lets be honest, when your baby isn’t sleeping it. is. so. hard. Whatever the situation is remember these two things: this does NOT mean you are an inadequate parent in any way shape or form, and that you are never in this alone! So many other mom’s are in the trenches with you, and while it can be incredibly challenging + stressful - you are surrounded with others who can relate. We’re in this together.
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